


So when sleep just won't come

by Brythonnia



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: 4+1 story, Angst, He's not okay, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Not Todd/Dirk but can definitely be interpreted that way ;), Poor Dirk, Sleep Paralysis, When I talk about the tests think like what was shown at the beginning of season 2, also electrocution is mentioned but not described graphically, nothing graphic but he has bad dreams about it, nothing worse than that, takes place during and after season 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:40:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23777011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brythonnia/pseuds/Brythonnia
Summary: Ever since his most recent 'visit' to Blackwing, Dirk Gently has been suffering from nightmares just like the ones he used to have after his first escape 16 years ago. Determined to suffer in silence, Dirk tries to hide his problems from his friends. The problem? Dirk's never been a good liar and with Todd determined to find out what's bothering his best friend, will Dirk ever get a good night's sleep again?Four times Dirk Gently has a nightmare and doesn't seek comfort, and the one time he does.
Relationships: Todd Brotzman & Dirk Gently
Kudos: 20





	So when sleep just won't come

**Author's Note:**

> So! I ran out of new shows and films to binge watch while in lockdown and now I'm re-watching a bunch of series I've already watched. Which means I've rekindled my absolute love for this show and finally had the time and energy to write this fic that I've had the plan written for about two years? Ouch.
> 
> This fic is set during and after season two and I've currently only re-watched season one so if things seem a bit off or don't make complete sense then that'll be why. Once I've finished season two again then I might go back through and edit some things slightly. Maybe. Unlikely. I probably won't ever look at this fic again tbh. We'll see.

_ He was back. Again. Dirk couldn’t even remember how they managed to capture him this time, all he knew was that he was once again in Blackwing’s grasp. _

  


_ He was stood in one of the many test rooms the so-called scientists had used. In front of him was a large wall of buttons. Dirk was very well acquainted with this particular test. Press a button. Doesn’t sound too difficult does it? Dirk loved to push buttons! But press the wrong one and he’d fail and failing led to being punished. Dirk didn’t enjoy pressing these buttons as much as he did the ones in Todd’s car. _

  


_ He stared at the glowing red buttons, almost menacing in their hue. He didn’t know what one was the right one. They all looked the same! It was getting hot in the test room. Much too hot. _

  


_ Better to just get it over with he supposed. Reluctantly, he reached out with a shaking hand and pressed a button at random. A loud buzz sounded throughout the room and he received a faint electric shock. Wrong. _

  


_ He kept pressing buttons. Wrong. Wrong. All of them wrong. And with every wrong button pressed the electric shock increased in intensity until his hands were shaking so badly Dirk struggled to press any of the buttons at all. _

  


_ Dirk was frantic, sweat dripping down his forehead as he kept hearing the buzzer sounding. Wrong. WRONG! It was all just wrong! _

  


_ He only stopped when he heard the crackle of the speaker coming to life above him. The voice he heard sent a chill down his spine. Priest. _

  


_ “Poor little Icarus. Not doing as you’re told today hm? Do I need to pay you a little visit?” _

  


NO!

  


Dirk sat upright as suddenly as he awoke. He couldn’t breathe. He was there, he was at Blackwing and he’d failed the tests again. Priest was on his way right now. Nononononono.  _ He couldn’t breathe! _

  


Unable to hear over the drumming in his ears, Dirk’s eyes flitted about the room. This wasn’t his room at Blackwing… His hands tightened their grip on the thin blanket strewn across his lap. He wasn’t there. He was at the police station, with Todd and Farah.

  


His breathing slowed a little until his head wasn’t spinning so much. It was easier to focus on things now his lungs were working a bit better and yes, he definitely was safe in the police station. He could see Todd curled up in the armchair next to him. However it wasn’t enough to calm his racing thoughts.

  


He needed to get out of here. Not go anywhere. Just outside. The fresh air might help. He was all hot and sticky with sweat anyway.

  


Dirk gently crept outside, not even bothering with his shoes as he slowly closed the door behind him and sat on the front step to the station.

  


xxxxx

  


Todd was drifting sweetly in and out of sleep when he heard the telltale sound of the front door click shut. He cracked an eye open, trying to subtly look out for a possible intruder. He didn’t notice anyone creeping around, however he did notice that the spot on the sofa that Dirk had previously occupied was now empty.

  


Hauling himself off the armchair he’d been resting on and stretching out his back, Todd headed for the door. Best to check on the poor guy. He’d been through a lot recently.

  


It wasn’t difficult for him to find Dirk. In fact it was more difficult not to trip over him as he stepped out the door without really seeing him sat right in front of him at first. After wobbly righting himself with very minimal arm flapping to help, Todd took a seat beside Dirk, their shoulders brushing against each other briefly as he got comfortable on the wooden step.

  


“Everything alright there Dirk?” he asked, noticing the way he had his face turned to the floor and was hunching over himself.

  


“I’m fine.” was his clipped response.

  


“You don’t seem all that fine to me,” he tried to catch his eye but Dirk only turned away from him, “Come on. I’m here to listen if you need me to.”

  


“Well I don’t need you to listen as there’s nothing wrong and there’s nothing to talk about. I said I’m fine.” he huffed.

  


“Dirk, I’m just trying to be a good friend. I want to help if I can.”

  


“Well what if I don’t want your help huh?” Dirk stood up, stomping his feet a little in his frustration.

  


“Dirk I-”

  


“No!” he interrupted, “You say you want to help, that you are here to listen. Yet here you are, not listening to me! I. Don’t. Need. Any. Help. Just leave me alone!”

  


With that he stormed off, the shaky anxiety from earlier replaced by a huffing anger as he quickly strode away from the station in a seemingly random direction.

  


“Oh come on! I get it if you want me to leave you alone but at least put some shoes on before you storm off!” Todd cried at Dirk’s retreating form.

  


He was unsurprisingly ignored.

  


He stood up and called out to Dirk once more before giving up and settling himself back onto the uncomfortable wooden step, determined to wait it out until Dirk returned. However it was still early in the morning and Todd was still worn out from the previous day’s adventure and quickly found himself asleep, leaning up against a wooden beam.

  


xxxxxx

  


Todd is abruptly woken up by an incessant poking on his cheek. He shoots upright, a cry of “Dirk!” leaving his lips before he realises that it’s not in fact his lanky detective friend returning but instead Tina. He smiles sheepishly as he rubs his neck as he tries to relieve some of the stiffness there from his awkward sleeping position.

  


“What’s shakin’ Todd?” she asks like she regularly starts her morning by waking up someone on the step of the police station.

  


“Nothing.” He replies a bit too quickly.

  


“What’re you doing sleeping here? The racoons will get you if you’re not careful.”

  


“Just… waiting for Dirk I guess.” He shades his eyes with a hand as he looks to the sky, he must’ve been here for at least two or three hours now. He hoped Dirk was okay.

  


Tina shrugs at his explanation and steps over him to get to the door. Once she’s out the way Todd gets up and follows her inside.

  


He’s barely taken two steps inside the building before he spots Dirk stood pouring over something at the table with Sherlock and Farah. He seems totally engrossed in his task and there’s no sign of the quiet, shaky Dirk he’d found outside a few hours ago. He’d even gone and put his shoes on.

  


Todd and Tina join the others, asking if they’d found anything new yet. But Todd’s mind is a little distracted. He’s still concerned about Dirk, but he does seem alright now. Better than he did earlier. He’ll talk to him about it later. Ask if there was anything bothering him, hopefully without setting him off this time.

  


However, later never came as they get swept up in the case once more and by the time they have the opportunity to talk, it’s completely forgotten about. Well, almost completely.

**Author's Note:**

> I will update this as and when I feel like it so don't expect too much. However with the lockdown going on and me being in a very writing mood, it might happen sooner rather than later. My ideal goal is to write one chapter a day. Ambitious I know.


End file.
